The Silicon Valley family on an $800K income shopping Costco deals and warehouse sales

Yes, even Silicon Valley families bringing in around $800K a year are on the hunt for a great back-to-school shopping deal. In our latest entry for Bank of Mom and Dad — Yahoo’s look at the cost of parenting school-age kids — guest editor Lindsey Stanberry of The Purse hears from a California mom of two who is spending below her means. Her kids go to public school, and — personalized backpacks and fancy lunch boxes aside — she’s sourcing items from Costco and warehouse sales. “There is a lot of privilege of not having a budget and being at a school where everything is provided for,” she says. The downside? After-school care is more than $700 a month per kid. Read on for the full rundown …

I live in the San Francisco Bay Area and work as a machine learning engineer. My husband is a lawyer, and we have two children. We find the uncertainty of not knowing the supply list for back-to-school activities to be stressful. The lack of clarity doesn’t allow us to plan or shop around for the best deals or stores that align with our values.

Age: 42

Location: Silicon Valley, Calif.

About our kids: I have a 9-year-old entering fourth grade and a 5-year-old who will be in kindergarten.

Type of school: Public school

Family income range: Around $800,000

Back-to-school receipts

Where did you do most of your shopping? Back-to-school shopping was a two-part hit to the bank account: online for the deals I cannot get in person, and in person for the deals I cannot get online. The online portion was all about identifying things I cannot buy in person, like the Tea Collection warehouse sales, Costco deals or backpack customization, plus the fact that I am a West Coaster and live nowhere near an L.L. Bean. However, there’s nothing like the rush of being able to personally inspect every pencil and glue stick, making sure we found the exact ones we wanted to kick off the new year.

• Lands’ End personalized backpacks: $24.72 plus $10 personalization (for the fourth grader); $26.97 plus $8 personalization (kindergartner)

• L.L. Bean and Lands’ End pencil pouches: $14.95 (fourth grader); $13.47 plus $10 personalization (kindergartner)

• L.L. Bean lunch bags: $19.95 for each kid

• Bentgo lunch boxes and utensils: $99.96 for multiple sets (fourth grader); $39.99 (found a good deal at Costco) for kindergartner, plus $16.99 per kid for utensil sets

• DSW shoes: For the fourth grader: $34.99 for basketball shoes, $39.99 for soccer cleats and $42.99 for Adidas VL Court for everyday wear. For the kindergartner: $25 for ballet shoes, $32.99 for soccer cleats, $32.99 for Nike Court and $32 for Adidas Lite Racer (both for everyday wear)

• Tea Collection clothing (warehouse sale): For the fourth grader: $81.99 for two button-up shirts (for picture day), three graphic tees and two pairs of shorts. For the kindergartner: $32 for two dresses and two pairs of leggings.

• OfficeMax school supplies: For the fourth grader: $5.50 for a binder, glue sticks, ruler and colored pencils. For the kindergartner: $5 for glue sticks, colored pencils and markers. We got a good deal on a back-to-school sale in July.

Total: $687.38

For the kindergartner:

• Dance: $539 (includes two costumes for The Nutcracker and the winter performance)

• Soccer: $260

• School play: $150

For the fourth grader:

• Choir: $170

• Soccer: $350

• School play: $200

Total: $2,069

Other school-related expenses

• After-school care: $794 per month for the fourth grader; $714.60 per month (there’s a 10% sibling discount) for the kindergartner

Total: $1,508.60 per month

Total back-to-school spend: $8,790.78 (includes four months of after-school care)

Tell us more

How do you approach back-to-school shopping? Do you set a budget?

I only buy what we truly need. This year, for example, both of my kids needed new backpacks. My fourth grader had been using the same backpack and lunch box for five years before they finally wore out at summer camp. I prioritize quality over quantity and always look for a discount of at least 30%. I’m a firm believer in the phrase, “Buy it nice or buy it twice,” so I focus on brands that offer a warranty. The kids didn’t need new water bottles this year, but I regularly take inventory of what they have and note what’s needed. Instead of setting a strict budget, I simply see how long each item can last before I need to replace it.

How do your kids feel about back-to-school shopping? What are they asking for this year?

Back-to-school shopping isn’t exactly a high-stakes event in our house. Our public school is amazing and provides all the supplies, so my kids don’t see it as a free-for-all for new stuff. This year, the school’s only requests were a water bottle for each kid and a binder for my fourth grader — the rest of our purchases are just for at-home emergencies. The only real drama was the desperate plea for new shoes, as their toes were staging a great escape through the worn-out fabric.

How do you manage your kids’ back-to-school shopping expectations?

We try to spend as little as possible and do not make school shopping a big deal.

What is the biggest stressor of back-to-school shopping?

I’m a self-proclaimed “quality item, never full-price” connoisseur, so I absolutely love getting a supply list for every activity my kids sign up for before it begins. It’s a treasure map guiding me away from the siren songs of Target, Amazon and Walmart (stores that conflict with my moral compass) and toward the glorious hunt for the correct — and deeply discounted — items.

Have you ever regretted a back-to-school purchase?

After too many online shoe-buying fails and the soul-crushing chore of returns, I’ve declared a new rule: All shoes must be bought in person. My sanity and schedule can’t handle another wasted errand.

How does your back-to-school shopping experience compare to what you grew up with?

For me, back-to-school shopping as a kid was a huge deal — almost as exciting as Christmas. It meant new clothes, new shoes and a fresh start. But with my own kids, I try to take a different approach. I’ve realized they need so little that I now shop ahead and focus on buying only what is truly necessary. This way, we avoid the chaos and overconsumption that can come with back-to-school season.

We want to know: Are you a parent who is feeling the pinch, too? Tell us about your own back-to-school expenses (and how you feel about it) using this form, and your responses may be used in a future article. Submissions close on Thursday, Aug. 28.

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